Blessings Etched Within My Heart

I am overjoyed at the love and faithfulness of my God! In order to explain to you how good my God is.. I first need to explain a little of the hardships we have endured. In December 2008, we had a 4 month old baby and a 2 year old girl. God spoke to me that December and told me (not audibly, but within my heart) that the upcoming year of 2009 would be a year of change. I didn't quite know what that meant, but I felt like He would take care of us. I shared this revelation with Andy. We both had a peace that God would care for us. Andy worked for Clayton Homes in their manufacturing plant. He hated working in such a place as this with vulgar words and sinful actions, but he will admit they paid well. They had paid well enough for me to be a strictly stay at home mom. Although we didn't have luxuries according to some standards we were able to comfortably pay our bills and enjoy the occasional date nights out! A huge blessing was the benefits and paid vacations of this employer. So, after his Christmas vacation he returned to work on January 2nd. It was about 2pm when Andy called me from work (not normal) and told me he was coming home. It didn't hit me until a few minutes later. He had been laid off. It didn't hit me til he returned home that we lost all benefits too with no severance package for health benefits. Our benefits ended THAT day! With a four month old baby & new 2 year old.. that was a little scary to me! Praise the Lord Andy found part-time work at Lifeway Christian Bookstore. It was 45 minutes away and only paid minimum wage, but it was a job. Gratefully, he was now in a job that he enjoyed, but money was more than 50% less what he was making. I started looking for work. I had a very difficult delivery with Eli Eben and was still in some pain. I knew that standing would be hard on my body. So, I called my aunt who hooked me up with a petsitter. She was gracious to work around my schedule for my kids and Andy's work. This provided for us for almost 2 years and along with some babysitting I did I was able to still be home with my kids the majority of the time. I look back on those days and honestly don't know how I did it! I will admit, it was exhausting! I will admit, I often woke up and prayed, "God, you say we can rest in you. Be my rest today. Take away my exhaustion and help me rest in you!" He was always so faithful in that!! About 2 years ago Andy decided to leave Lifeway because of the drive coupled with minimum wage the money just wasn't providing for us. Gas prices were soaring and our bank account dwindling. We were frugal. I had learned the art of couponing and I must admit this art has saved us MANY times!!  Then, Andy applied to Target and got on right away to work 3rd shift unloading trucks. He was told then that to give them a couple of months, he could cross train, and work full-time hours. His pay increase was significant (Target truly does take care of their employees) and it was less than a mile down the road from us! Now, here we are almost 2 years later. With the exception of extra Christmas hours Andy's hours were never increased. It has been difficult, but God has always provided for us. This week, Andy applied for a management position that promised 40 hours a week, guaranteed. We found out today that God granted this for us and I cannot tell you the joy we feel! The last 3 years haven't been easy. They have been full of turmoil, heartache, marital tension, hopelessness, and sometimes despair. However, through this we have learned of God's faithfulness, His sovereignty, His provision, and His love!  We have bills that were supposed to come out of our checking account (and there be no funds for them) be [surprisingly] delayed and not come out til the next payday! Andy's grandmother sadly passed away this year. We were absolutely blessed by her last gift to us which paid off our home. (I often do not share this information. It used to be embarrassing to me. I felt like we would be judged with, "Well! That must be nice!") But the truth is, it was nice. It was her last gift to us. It rendered us to be in a permanent home. We so easily could have lost our home and not had a place to live. So, I feel free to share this now, because it wasn't anything she did. It wasn't anything we did or in Andy's case-- being born in to. It was a total God thing! It was because of this that God has sustained us most of this year.)  I have shared about my major injury to my back/pelvis which has needed medical care, and God sent us to a wonderful Christian chiropractor. He and his wife have been so gracious with providing care to us for a low cost. I have friends who have given us hand me downs for our children to have clothing. I have coupon friends who we share tips/tricks and great deals with eachother. God has been SO faithful and we have truly grown spiritually and are so thankful that He loves us enough to provide for us over these last years! I am so proud of my husband for being such a hard worker when he works. It has been his dedication at work that landed him this position and I am so thankful that our finances are in a better place now. Hopefully, we can be a blessing to others now as much as they have been a blessing to us!  Someone said to me last night in small group, "Could you honestly say, you're glad that your husband was laid off?" Oh that caught me off guard. That's a hard thing to admit. But as I've pondered and considered this statement I think I can say, "Yes! I am glad!" Our marriage is strengthened, my faith is enormous because my God has NEVER failed me, and my knowledge of what truly matters is etched deep within my heart.   Matthew 6:25,30  “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you."

Bills, Bills, Bills

I have to tell of God's faithfulness to us this week! We struggle financially. We have since Elijah was 4 months old and Andy was laid off from his job. We have never quite recovered from his well paying job with great benefits. We both work now, cut corners where it's possible, and I coupon! Unless it's on sale or a great deal.. we don't buy it.

This week we had several bills coming out and we didn't have the money for it. We don't get paid til on Friday. On Monday, Andy was very concerned for the week ahead. We were on our way to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate our 3 year old & his birthday for the day! I have been reading a book by Elizabeth George called "Loving God With All Your Mind". In her book she explains about living in reality and trusting God with the rest. So, I told Andy what I've been learning. Right now, our reality is that we are going to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate Eli Eben's birthday! We are going to have a great time with him and celebrate him. Don't worry about the bills! He looked at me and sarcastically said, "Well, I'm glad you're so positive!" and I was able to respond back to him with great appreciation for our God and said, "I'm not, but I know that my God is!" He smiled and said, "Okay.. you're right. We will worry about it later." So, I asked him, "What will later do?" He said... you're right... Okay, Okay, Okay. He surrendered to what I had already surrendered to in my reality... God is in control... not me!

Andy works 2 jobs. On Wednesdays he gets paid for one of them. So our thoughts were... maybe if we can just make it til Wednesday, then hopefully we will be okay. Wednesday came and he got his check, but it was less than we expected. We were $30 short in our checking account for our bills to be paid. I told Andy... well, it will be what it will be. If we have an overdraft fee, then we do. God is in control. Thursday was the day that he figured the bills would come out and he waited anxiously. Do you know what happened? No bills came out!! Praise the Lord we got both got paid today (Friday) and have what we need to pay those bills.

It's amazing how God takes care of us even in the most mundane of things as paying bills. There are children in other countries (and here too) who are orphans, have little to no food, no clean drinking water. There are children who are abused, marriages that are breaking, etc. God is a big God who loves all of us, cares for all of us, and throughout everything in this world He has to take care of... it is exciting to know that He loves us enough to orchestrate when our bills get paid!!

Today, I am left humbled and so thankful!!

Elijah's 3rd Birthday!!

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Lydia's Baptism

Yesterday (8/21/11) was the day for Lydia's appointed baptism. On May 13th she accepted Jesus to become the Lord of her life!! 


Leading up to yesterday's baptism Lydia was very unsure about the process. She doesn't like trying new things and she would tell me she was scared. She shared that she was afraid of getting her clothes wet, the water being too high, the water being too cold, the water getting in her eyes. These were all fears that we were able to talk through and problem solve.  


Our church is still small and we rent a building to hold our service. We don't have a baptismal and we borrowed a church with a baptismal for the afternoon so that Lydia could be baptized.  When we left our house Lydia was doing okay and had accepted the process of baptism and I could sense some excitement in her. 

We arrived at the church and she wasn't real happy that the baptismal had some rust in it and didn't appear clean. She doesn't like it when things are dirty. I assured her that I was going to take her down the steps and that I would hand her to Daddy (Andy got to baptize her!!) and she wouldn't have to touch anything but the water. She was getting nervous and it was obvious. I got her dressed in her gown and she liked it and thought it was funny, because it was so long. 


I held her as we started into the water. My feet hit the water and I knew we were in trouble.. the water was freezing!! I felt really bad for her and as soon as I handed her to Andy and she felt the water she began kind of whimpering. Andy assured her that it was okay and she had a death grip on him! When he went to baptize her he more or less had to go down with her, because she wouldn't let go. She came up nearly screaming and cried until the time I got her dressed back in her normal clothes. 

I love how Elijah is looking to make sure that she is okay!

I was very sad that her experience of baptism was so bad for her. It wasn't pleasant at all. She loves water. Although she was unsure of this new experience I really felt like she would enjoy it because she loves to be in the water. I really think if the water had been warmer, then she would have been okay. She didn't talk to us very much for a little while.


Then, last night I gave her a warm bath. I sat there with her and talked with her about her baptism today. She told me, "The water was so cold... brrr!" I asked her if she would do it again (just out of curiosity) and she quickly shouted, "No!"... then we giggled together about it. Through a friend's comforting words I explained to Lydia that sometimes being a Christian is hard. Sometimes we are scared to do things that God tells us to do like baptism. Sometimes when we do it we don't like it like going into freezing cold water. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable and even hurt. However, we are being obedient to Jesus. When we do what He asks us to do that makes God  happy and we can find joy in what we did. She (thankfully) understood this. I told her that none of us knew the water would be so cold and we were very sorry for that. Then, she went on playing in the warm bath water.


As she got out of the bathtub and I went to help her get dried off and dressed she said, "Mommy, why did they not turn the heater on in the water?" I told her I wasn't sure. Then she said, "Mommy, if the water was so cold, then why didn't we just go somewhere else?" I told her that was a good question and if any of us had known that, then we would have. Thankfully, she was okay now and happy that she had gotten baptized! 

God is faithful in all things... even when the water is freezing!!

Lydia's healing!

Many people know that my husband, Andy has a neurological condition which causes some involuntary movements in his neck/shoulders. In everyday life it isn't too noticeable. However, if he gets angry or is feeling nervous about something it shows a bit more prominently. I've always joked that I know I'm in trouble just by looking at him!! lol


Before we had children we were told that his neurological movements were the result of a birth defect after he was born and he needed to be revived. It was this lack of oxygen that supposedly caused the nervous disorder in which he has long suffered from.  We were happy to know it wasn't hereditary as we proceeded on our journey to start a family!


Our firstborn is our beautiful Lydia. As she neared age 3 we began noticing involuntary movements in her hands. This petrified me, but over and over God revealed His faithfulness. We went to a pediatric neurologist who ordered an MRI for her. They pinpointed the neurological issue to be in the cerebellum. The base of the brain-- right above the neck. We were told that Andy's condition has been misdiagnosed all these years, because Myoclonus (his original diagnosis) isn't hereditary. We were told that they would need genetical testing, but they didn't know where to begin. Then,  we were told that even if they find the reasoning for their issues, there is nothing we can do. There are no medications available right now that affect the cerebellum. Just so you know, we opted for no genetical testing. We put our trust in the Lord!


I was devastated. I never blamed Andy although he often blamed himself. It was one thing knowing that Andy had this as apart of his life. I met him as an adult. He had learned to deal with it and he was okay. It was a whole new experience to watch my child struggle with every day tasks: eating, drinking, writing, coloring, etc. She would cry and get frustrated. She'd ask why her hands wouldn't stop moving. I often had to excuse myself from the table to go lock myself in the bathroom to cry. It pulled my heartstrings and I didn't know how to deal with it. We got her some physical therapy which helped. I bought her weighted pencil grips and weighted utensils. These helped her, definitely! God would often bring other children to my mind who were struggling with life threatening illnesses and diseases. It made me realize, "Okay! Lydia moves... we can deal with this! I'm not telling her goodbye over this." That remained to be my sobering reality to get me through the mourning over her not being "perfect". Our motto for her became, "God made me special and I'm perfect in Him!" We repeated this daily and often times we repeated it many times a day!


It was with my fall in December that I endured a very damaged pelvis, hips, and a slipped disc in my spine that I met with a Chiropractor who has brought such healing to our family! He met Andy while explaining my xray and EMG results and was very intrigued with his movements. So he did Xrays and EMG's on the whole family. Andy ended up having severe scoliosis of the neck.. right under his cerebellum. Then he put Lydia's xrays up and what did she have? Severe scoliosis of the neck (very severe for a 4 year old, in fact) right below her cerebellum. We were AMAZED!!!


It took a while for Lydia to warm up to the fact that Dr. John was going to be tapping her neck with his instrument. It didn't hurt, but it made a loud popping noise which she didn't like! He told us that she was his most resistant patient to date, but thankfully she came around!! Last week, after about 14 weeks of seeing him 3 times a week we had more xrays. We got those results this week and were dumbfounded that Lydia's spine in her neck is completely aligned and straight! Praise the Lord! We've definitely noticed a decrease in her movements and Dr. John told us that it takes a while for the brain to retrain itself. He truly believes that with time Lydia's movements will more than likely go away and she will lead a normal, healthy life! I am praising the Lord for His faithfulness!!!


Our children really do belong to Him and I praise Him that He has brought healing to her spine which will in turn bring much healing to her whole body!!

Lydia & Cassie

(Side Note: Andy's spine continues to improve and he is noticing a decrease in his movements as well. I pray that his will eventually go away too. A child's bones are much more pliable than an adult's bones. It will take more time for Andy's spine to be aligned, but with God all things are possible and with time.. I know that Andy will also have healing!!)