Refinement

My last few days have been a conglomeration of struggles! Physically, Emotionally, & Spiritually! Then, this morning.. as I feel to be at the end of my rope I run across the blog post of one of my friends. Her Blog!  She spoke in her blog just recently about Daniel along with Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego and their fiery furnace experience! ( Read Bible Story Here ) I just read through Daniel last week and remembered what meaning this story had to me last week.. and she really expounded on that too!

Financially, we are struggling. I was so excited when Andy went to interview for Denso yesterday. Only to find out that they didn't have any positions available, but would add him to their file of "possible employees". I had my hopes up! I had figured it all out financially and it was going to be a real blessing! We would be able to get the things we needed... and things we wanted too! I was thrilled.. I prayed with Andy before he went and I felt such peace that he would get the position! When he came home and gave me the "it's not going to happen... not for right now, anyway" I was quite devastated. 

After getting myself better together, I called and shared with my mentor. She told me, "We all go through trials. My trials are different than your trials. Right now you're in a money trial. But, if he'd gotten this position.. there would have been a new trial to go through." I knew exactly what the trial would have been. Right now Andy is part time. I get to see him alot and spend time with him. Along with my injuries from my back keeping me from being able to do much.. he has been invaluable to me. My new trial would have been not seeing him very much... our work schedules were probably going to coincide. I knew it would be a big adjustment. My mentor reminded me, "We all get refined. Sometimes, we just go through periods of being tired of being refined." That's where I am, I think. Except.. God's not there with me! lol.  He tells me in the bible He loves us too much to leave us the way we are. Well, he loves me alot (I know He does) because He's refining me alot lately! haha.

So, in thinking about my friend's blog post this morning about the story in Daniel with S, M, and A... I wonder if they ever asked, "God? Exactly.. how long do you think this is going to take? Because I have stuff to do!" I don't know.. maybe they did. I tend to think they just relaxed and enjoyed the site.. enjoyed the "refining" because they knew that out of this refinement.. God was going to give them an amazing story, an amazing testimony, and they would come out  of the fiery furnace better than ever! They would be able to proclaim just how great & awesome our God is!

I am still in quite a bit of physical pain, which is wearing on me. People I love seem to think it's okay to tell me whatever they think about me or my life without any regard to my feelings from their comments. Their words pierce me and often paralyze me. I am learning to stand up. I am trying to set boundaries... I admit, it's not easy and I need to get strong enough in myself and in my God to do this! God is bringing me through these fires to make me a better person... He created me uniquely and with a purpose. However, His purpose for me, comes out of His refinement of me. 

Zechariah 13:9 "I will refine them as silver is refined and test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, and I will answer them. I will say: They are My people, and they will say: The LORD is our God."