Blessings & Thankfulness

I am currently reading through the book of Luke. Stories I have read many times throughout my childhood in church and in my daily devotionals and bible readings. It's funny how you can read things sometimes that don't affect you at all and then one day you read them and they hit you a bit like a ton of bricks!


The part that spoke to me was Luke 1: 11-14 & 18-20 

¹¹ Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. ¹² When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. ¹³ But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. 

 ¹⁸ Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

 ¹⁹ The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. ²⁰ And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.”

Then I read Luke 1:30-32, 34, 38

³⁰ But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David

 ³⁴ “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

This is what struck me! Zechariah was skeptical of God's plan for Him. He wondered, "How can this really happen?" And isn't that just like so many of us today? I know it's very much like me! Just as with this new church we are helping plant and Andy is the Associate Pastor of. There are so many times when I'm like, "Really? Really, God?" Even when we left the church we were in.. I thought, "Really God? This is really what you want??" I wasn't fully trusting God.. and I still struggle with that from time to time. But if you look at Zechariah's story.. and truly think about it. His wife had been barren for many years. They were heartbroken over no children and suddenly an angel comes to tell them that she is going to have a baby!! Think of the excitement! Think of the joy! I bet when they found out she was pregnant they wanted to shout it from the rooftops! But Zechariah didn't get that privilege. I know when I was pregnant I couldn't wait to tell people! I was so excited to get their hug & embrace, encouragement, love, and excitement with me over the new baby we would add to our family! Because of Zechariah's skeptic heart and non-trusting thoughts he lost out on a great, great privilege. In turn, he missed out on getting to share the joy of their pregnancy with others and receive their excitement.

Then you get to Mary who completely accepted what Gabriel had to say! She asked how it will happen, but she was never skeptical that it would happen! She trusted in Gabriel and she trusted that God would do what he said he would do. 

All of this really made me question in my own life. How many times am I skeptical toward God's will? How many times in my life do I forfeit blessings over my skepticism? How often do I not follow God's plan for my future and in turn cost myself much joy? 

Our God loves us! He would never want to take our blessings from us. It's so often our selfishness that costs us such joy! So, it's my new prayer that I will ask God to lead me and that I will trust where ever He takes me! I know He won't take me anywhere that I don't need to be. He has me where He wants me so that He can give me such blessings.... For that, I'm thankful!!

Grace & Mercy

God has been so faithful to me over these last few weeks! As He always is!! Some people have asked me if I'm suffering from depression, but my answer is most assuredly no.. I'm not suffering from depression, I'm suffering from life! I am writing my inner most thoughts throughout my blog, because (along with several friends) I believe that it's time to start being real and putting down the "face" society demands. If we can all start being real with eachother.. just think of the barriers and the walls that will be broken. It's so easy to look at someone else's situation and think it's wonderful because of the face they put on, however if you were to look behind their mask you may see deep hurt, anguish, or anger. I am completely & whole heartedly fighting to be real so that we, as women & mothers, can come together on more common ground and learn to lean on Jesus.. nobody else & no thing else!

In the last 2 weeks Sears has hired more people, but before that I was working 25 hours a week. It doesn't seem like much, but it is when you have so many other things going on too! Like, I'm also getting ready to begin a 2nd job that is work from home, so I've been in the processes of that. I am dealing with being essentially apart of 2 churches. My former church we were still very involved in on Wednesday nights and some other programs that they hold there, like MOPs. These things are now over with for the Summer. Our current church is where Andy is the Associate Pastor. I help teach children's church, keep the nursery, help with music, hospitality, and I am the church clerk.  I'm homeschooling Lydia for preschool every chance I get. Plus, I want to have some fun too and try to plan outings for Lydia & Elijah. Not to mention, I'm still dealing with my pelvis/back injury to which I am at the doctor 3 times a week still. It's getting better, but my pain is still with me. Thankfully, the pain has lessened tremendously from what it was.  Okay, then there's duties like making dinner every night, keeping my home clean, doing the laundry, cutting out and organizing coupons and making a grocery list. Andy has been very crucial to me since my injury in helping me with the home.. I'm very thankful for him!!  

VBS is this week at our former church. I wanted to be apart of it SO much, but I just didn't think it was feasible with working so much and with my injury. It makes me sad though. I'm trying very hard this Summer and into the Fall to stop over committing myself.  I must admit, I'm notorious for that. Not because I hate to say no to people, but because I love to say yes! I love volunteering, helping, serving, and being apart of things. I often joke that there's so much I want to do, and work just gets in my way! However, I must step back and admit that I do like my job! I love the people I work with and going to work isn't always easy. Although, once I get there I always enjoy it. I don't necessarily like all of the politics involved, but the job itself and the people I am with throughout my shifts are enjoyable. This is truly a blessing!

So, as I'm trying to sift through my life and pick and choose between my wants and my needs.. I am trying to make wise and more constructive choices. For the Summer, I want to enjoy as much of it as possible with my children. I can't do alot right now because of my injury, but I want to do what I can! The Fall will come again soon and I will pick many things back up, but hopefully my restful Summer will help me! haha.  

I am reading through the book of Matthew right now. I came across this verse. Matthew 18:10 "Beware that you don't look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in Heaven their angels are always in the presence of my Heavenly Father."  I think someone could easily skip over this verse, but as I read it several days ago.. it has spoken to me many times since.  We are the little ones. The ones that Christ has called unto Himself just like a parent calls a child. He assures us that we have angels who watch over us and who are with us. That's very comforting to me. You hear of spiritual warfare and that the angels are constantly in battle, but how reassuring to know that these angels are truly with me and guarding me. They are ALWAYS in the presence of my Heavenly Father. What an honor to be constantly before the King. In that era, to be before the king was an honor, a privilege that many longed to have. How exciting to know that my angels are sitting before My King and being surrounded with His love, affection, justice, and mercy! This is very exciting to me!!  

So, as I am trying to enjoy my family more and just BE in the presence of the King.. I take joy in knowing that He is with me always, His angels are with me always, and I am surrounded in love and grace because of that!