Elijah's 3rd Birthday!!

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Lydia's Baptism

Yesterday (8/21/11) was the day for Lydia's appointed baptism. On May 13th she accepted Jesus to become the Lord of her life!! 


Leading up to yesterday's baptism Lydia was very unsure about the process. She doesn't like trying new things and she would tell me she was scared. She shared that she was afraid of getting her clothes wet, the water being too high, the water being too cold, the water getting in her eyes. These were all fears that we were able to talk through and problem solve.  


Our church is still small and we rent a building to hold our service. We don't have a baptismal and we borrowed a church with a baptismal for the afternoon so that Lydia could be baptized.  When we left our house Lydia was doing okay and had accepted the process of baptism and I could sense some excitement in her. 

We arrived at the church and she wasn't real happy that the baptismal had some rust in it and didn't appear clean. She doesn't like it when things are dirty. I assured her that I was going to take her down the steps and that I would hand her to Daddy (Andy got to baptize her!!) and she wouldn't have to touch anything but the water. She was getting nervous and it was obvious. I got her dressed in her gown and she liked it and thought it was funny, because it was so long. 


I held her as we started into the water. My feet hit the water and I knew we were in trouble.. the water was freezing!! I felt really bad for her and as soon as I handed her to Andy and she felt the water she began kind of whimpering. Andy assured her that it was okay and she had a death grip on him! When he went to baptize her he more or less had to go down with her, because she wouldn't let go. She came up nearly screaming and cried until the time I got her dressed back in her normal clothes. 

I love how Elijah is looking to make sure that she is okay!

I was very sad that her experience of baptism was so bad for her. It wasn't pleasant at all. She loves water. Although she was unsure of this new experience I really felt like she would enjoy it because she loves to be in the water. I really think if the water had been warmer, then she would have been okay. She didn't talk to us very much for a little while.


Then, last night I gave her a warm bath. I sat there with her and talked with her about her baptism today. She told me, "The water was so cold... brrr!" I asked her if she would do it again (just out of curiosity) and she quickly shouted, "No!"... then we giggled together about it. Through a friend's comforting words I explained to Lydia that sometimes being a Christian is hard. Sometimes we are scared to do things that God tells us to do like baptism. Sometimes when we do it we don't like it like going into freezing cold water. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable and even hurt. However, we are being obedient to Jesus. When we do what He asks us to do that makes God  happy and we can find joy in what we did. She (thankfully) understood this. I told her that none of us knew the water would be so cold and we were very sorry for that. Then, she went on playing in the warm bath water.


As she got out of the bathtub and I went to help her get dried off and dressed she said, "Mommy, why did they not turn the heater on in the water?" I told her I wasn't sure. Then she said, "Mommy, if the water was so cold, then why didn't we just go somewhere else?" I told her that was a good question and if any of us had known that, then we would have. Thankfully, she was okay now and happy that she had gotten baptized! 

God is faithful in all things... even when the water is freezing!!

Lydia's healing!

Many people know that my husband, Andy has a neurological condition which causes some involuntary movements in his neck/shoulders. In everyday life it isn't too noticeable. However, if he gets angry or is feeling nervous about something it shows a bit more prominently. I've always joked that I know I'm in trouble just by looking at him!! lol


Before we had children we were told that his neurological movements were the result of a birth defect after he was born and he needed to be revived. It was this lack of oxygen that supposedly caused the nervous disorder in which he has long suffered from.  We were happy to know it wasn't hereditary as we proceeded on our journey to start a family!


Our firstborn is our beautiful Lydia. As she neared age 3 we began noticing involuntary movements in her hands. This petrified me, but over and over God revealed His faithfulness. We went to a pediatric neurologist who ordered an MRI for her. They pinpointed the neurological issue to be in the cerebellum. The base of the brain-- right above the neck. We were told that Andy's condition has been misdiagnosed all these years, because Myoclonus (his original diagnosis) isn't hereditary. We were told that they would need genetical testing, but they didn't know where to begin. Then,  we were told that even if they find the reasoning for their issues, there is nothing we can do. There are no medications available right now that affect the cerebellum. Just so you know, we opted for no genetical testing. We put our trust in the Lord!


I was devastated. I never blamed Andy although he often blamed himself. It was one thing knowing that Andy had this as apart of his life. I met him as an adult. He had learned to deal with it and he was okay. It was a whole new experience to watch my child struggle with every day tasks: eating, drinking, writing, coloring, etc. She would cry and get frustrated. She'd ask why her hands wouldn't stop moving. I often had to excuse myself from the table to go lock myself in the bathroom to cry. It pulled my heartstrings and I didn't know how to deal with it. We got her some physical therapy which helped. I bought her weighted pencil grips and weighted utensils. These helped her, definitely! God would often bring other children to my mind who were struggling with life threatening illnesses and diseases. It made me realize, "Okay! Lydia moves... we can deal with this! I'm not telling her goodbye over this." That remained to be my sobering reality to get me through the mourning over her not being "perfect". Our motto for her became, "God made me special and I'm perfect in Him!" We repeated this daily and often times we repeated it many times a day!


It was with my fall in December that I endured a very damaged pelvis, hips, and a slipped disc in my spine that I met with a Chiropractor who has brought such healing to our family! He met Andy while explaining my xray and EMG results and was very intrigued with his movements. So he did Xrays and EMG's on the whole family. Andy ended up having severe scoliosis of the neck.. right under his cerebellum. Then he put Lydia's xrays up and what did she have? Severe scoliosis of the neck (very severe for a 4 year old, in fact) right below her cerebellum. We were AMAZED!!!


It took a while for Lydia to warm up to the fact that Dr. John was going to be tapping her neck with his instrument. It didn't hurt, but it made a loud popping noise which she didn't like! He told us that she was his most resistant patient to date, but thankfully she came around!! Last week, after about 14 weeks of seeing him 3 times a week we had more xrays. We got those results this week and were dumbfounded that Lydia's spine in her neck is completely aligned and straight! Praise the Lord! We've definitely noticed a decrease in her movements and Dr. John told us that it takes a while for the brain to retrain itself. He truly believes that with time Lydia's movements will more than likely go away and she will lead a normal, healthy life! I am praising the Lord for His faithfulness!!!


Our children really do belong to Him and I praise Him that He has brought healing to her spine which will in turn bring much healing to her whole body!!

Lydia & Cassie

(Side Note: Andy's spine continues to improve and he is noticing a decrease in his movements as well. I pray that his will eventually go away too. A child's bones are much more pliable than an adult's bones. It will take more time for Andy's spine to be aligned, but with God all things are possible and with time.. I know that Andy will also have healing!!)

Blessings & Thankfulness

I am currently reading through the book of Luke. Stories I have read many times throughout my childhood in church and in my daily devotionals and bible readings. It's funny how you can read things sometimes that don't affect you at all and then one day you read them and they hit you a bit like a ton of bricks!


The part that spoke to me was Luke 1: 11-14 & 18-20 

¹¹ Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. ¹² When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. ¹³ But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. 

 ¹⁸ Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

 ¹⁹ The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. ²⁰ And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.”

Then I read Luke 1:30-32, 34, 38

³⁰ But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David

 ³⁴ “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

This is what struck me! Zechariah was skeptical of God's plan for Him. He wondered, "How can this really happen?" And isn't that just like so many of us today? I know it's very much like me! Just as with this new church we are helping plant and Andy is the Associate Pastor of. There are so many times when I'm like, "Really? Really, God?" Even when we left the church we were in.. I thought, "Really God? This is really what you want??" I wasn't fully trusting God.. and I still struggle with that from time to time. But if you look at Zechariah's story.. and truly think about it. His wife had been barren for many years. They were heartbroken over no children and suddenly an angel comes to tell them that she is going to have a baby!! Think of the excitement! Think of the joy! I bet when they found out she was pregnant they wanted to shout it from the rooftops! But Zechariah didn't get that privilege. I know when I was pregnant I couldn't wait to tell people! I was so excited to get their hug & embrace, encouragement, love, and excitement with me over the new baby we would add to our family! Because of Zechariah's skeptic heart and non-trusting thoughts he lost out on a great, great privilege. In turn, he missed out on getting to share the joy of their pregnancy with others and receive their excitement.

Then you get to Mary who completely accepted what Gabriel had to say! She asked how it will happen, but she was never skeptical that it would happen! She trusted in Gabriel and she trusted that God would do what he said he would do. 

All of this really made me question in my own life. How many times am I skeptical toward God's will? How many times in my life do I forfeit blessings over my skepticism? How often do I not follow God's plan for my future and in turn cost myself much joy? 

Our God loves us! He would never want to take our blessings from us. It's so often our selfishness that costs us such joy! So, it's my new prayer that I will ask God to lead me and that I will trust where ever He takes me! I know He won't take me anywhere that I don't need to be. He has me where He wants me so that He can give me such blessings.... For that, I'm thankful!!

Grace & Mercy

God has been so faithful to me over these last few weeks! As He always is!! Some people have asked me if I'm suffering from depression, but my answer is most assuredly no.. I'm not suffering from depression, I'm suffering from life! I am writing my inner most thoughts throughout my blog, because (along with several friends) I believe that it's time to start being real and putting down the "face" society demands. If we can all start being real with eachother.. just think of the barriers and the walls that will be broken. It's so easy to look at someone else's situation and think it's wonderful because of the face they put on, however if you were to look behind their mask you may see deep hurt, anguish, or anger. I am completely & whole heartedly fighting to be real so that we, as women & mothers, can come together on more common ground and learn to lean on Jesus.. nobody else & no thing else!

In the last 2 weeks Sears has hired more people, but before that I was working 25 hours a week. It doesn't seem like much, but it is when you have so many other things going on too! Like, I'm also getting ready to begin a 2nd job that is work from home, so I've been in the processes of that. I am dealing with being essentially apart of 2 churches. My former church we were still very involved in on Wednesday nights and some other programs that they hold there, like MOPs. These things are now over with for the Summer. Our current church is where Andy is the Associate Pastor. I help teach children's church, keep the nursery, help with music, hospitality, and I am the church clerk.  I'm homeschooling Lydia for preschool every chance I get. Plus, I want to have some fun too and try to plan outings for Lydia & Elijah. Not to mention, I'm still dealing with my pelvis/back injury to which I am at the doctor 3 times a week still. It's getting better, but my pain is still with me. Thankfully, the pain has lessened tremendously from what it was.  Okay, then there's duties like making dinner every night, keeping my home clean, doing the laundry, cutting out and organizing coupons and making a grocery list. Andy has been very crucial to me since my injury in helping me with the home.. I'm very thankful for him!!  

VBS is this week at our former church. I wanted to be apart of it SO much, but I just didn't think it was feasible with working so much and with my injury. It makes me sad though. I'm trying very hard this Summer and into the Fall to stop over committing myself.  I must admit, I'm notorious for that. Not because I hate to say no to people, but because I love to say yes! I love volunteering, helping, serving, and being apart of things. I often joke that there's so much I want to do, and work just gets in my way! However, I must step back and admit that I do like my job! I love the people I work with and going to work isn't always easy. Although, once I get there I always enjoy it. I don't necessarily like all of the politics involved, but the job itself and the people I am with throughout my shifts are enjoyable. This is truly a blessing!

So, as I'm trying to sift through my life and pick and choose between my wants and my needs.. I am trying to make wise and more constructive choices. For the Summer, I want to enjoy as much of it as possible with my children. I can't do alot right now because of my injury, but I want to do what I can! The Fall will come again soon and I will pick many things back up, but hopefully my restful Summer will help me! haha.  

I am reading through the book of Matthew right now. I came across this verse. Matthew 18:10 "Beware that you don't look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in Heaven their angels are always in the presence of my Heavenly Father."  I think someone could easily skip over this verse, but as I read it several days ago.. it has spoken to me many times since.  We are the little ones. The ones that Christ has called unto Himself just like a parent calls a child. He assures us that we have angels who watch over us and who are with us. That's very comforting to me. You hear of spiritual warfare and that the angels are constantly in battle, but how reassuring to know that these angels are truly with me and guarding me. They are ALWAYS in the presence of my Heavenly Father. What an honor to be constantly before the King. In that era, to be before the king was an honor, a privilege that many longed to have. How exciting to know that my angels are sitting before My King and being surrounded with His love, affection, justice, and mercy! This is very exciting to me!!  

So, as I am trying to enjoy my family more and just BE in the presence of the King.. I take joy in knowing that He is with me always, His angels are with me always, and I am surrounded in love and grace because of that!