Many people have been asking me how I'm doing at a little over 3 weeks past my miscarriage. I want to write and let you all know that I'm feeling SO much better! God has been so incredibly faithful to me in this.
My miscarriage happened on a Friday, after not feeling well on that Thursday. Over a week later, on Sunday, I was struggling. Physically & emotionally! My heart was SO heavy and I was buying into Satan's lies, "This won't get any better" and "You're all alone in how you feel" and other like lies. I was disheartened, weepy, and just exhausted from all of the emotions.
Andy had to work that Sunday morning. On my way home from church my dear friend & mentor called me and said she just felt like she needed to call me and see if I was okay. I broke down and told her, "I'm not doing well at all. I'm on the verge of depression.. I can feel it!" She encouraged me to go before the Lord and be with Him.
Through the process of miscarriage I never questioned God or asked, "Why me?" but I definitely felt a barrier between us. Normally, I read my bible every day and I pray alot throughout my day and I try to set aside specific time just for prayer, if I can. But during this time, I found it very hard to pray and very difficult to even open my bible. I had dragged myself to church on this particular Sunday (not my normal reponse!) and had I been a child I'm sure I would have been kicking & screaming.
I tell you though.. when I got off the phone with my dear friend I wept before the Lord, read through many Psalms & Proverbs, and begged the Lord for healing. I truly felt that if I could be healed of my physical pain which still consisted of unbearable pelvic pain & cramping then I could overcome the emotional pain of emptiness & depression.
God is so faithful!! I woke up Monday morning and for the first time in about 12 days.. I felt NORMAL!! Praise God for His answer to prayers and His faithfulness!!
For now, I don't know if the Lord will add to our family. I don't know when He will if He chooses to do so. I do know that He is my Father who loves me and has my best interest at heart. I know that if He chooses for us to add to our family, then we will. I will rejoice! However, if he chooses not to.. then I am ever grateful for my 2 beautiful blessings sent straight from Him! They are thoughtful, active, healthy, & loving! I am truly one blessed woman of God!
We are taught lessons in our lives. Whether it's for our good or for the comfort & love we receive from Him & others that we get to pass on to others in another "season".. we never understand these at the time. But one day, I'm sure I will get to minister to someone in a very special way that I would have otherwise had no idea how to! In all things, I pray that I bring Him glory & honor! I'm so thankful for the healing & restoration I have received.. only because I asked!
John 14:14 "If you ask anything in My name, then I will do it."
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