Here I sit at 29 weeks pregnant. I fight loneliness from being so isolated, but many friends text/call/email me throughout the day and that is definitely helpful. I look around at the "stuff" that needs to be put away, or the dishes undone in the sink, or the dust bunnies gathering in the corners and it makes me cringe.. just a little. I'm not an overtly neat person, but I do like order. I also hate dirty floors! But the Lord is teaching me to let those things go. For this unborn life inside me.. is of much more importance than dust bunnies!
At my appointment yesterday I was told I am not doing enough bed resting. My body has started cramping because of it now too.. in addition to the Braxton-Hicks that plague me the moment I stand up until the moment I return to sitting. My doctor is concerned that my uterus is being way too overworked for only 29 weeks pregnant. Thankfully, I am not dilating.. only the softening of my cervix is still apparent. She gave me medication to calm my uterus, told me more bedrest, and to stay hydrated. Above all.. she said I am to do absolutely nothing! I was warned that if my uterus hasn't calmed down by Thursday that I'm looking at Home Health having to come in for around the clock monitoring & the next step is hospitalization. I left her office in tears.
My children, being 6 & 4, are helpful but still need their Momma. They still want to eat breakfast & lunch or for me to get that coloring book that's put away on the top shelf that they can't reach. They still run out of toilet paper in the bathroom or want to be tucked in at naptime. It seems impossible to do absolutely nothing when you're already a Mom. I sent our prayer requests to friends & church family. Calls/Text/Emails began pouring in.. asking what they can do? Can they come make lunch for my kids? Can they pre-make lunches for them? Can they come & take them to the park or to the zoo for a day so I can rest?!
Andy came home from work with alot of questions I couldn't answer. He had talked with people he works with and they didn't understand my situation either. I told some friends who also had questions that I felt like I couldn't answer. Truth is.. I felt so overwhelmed at the office visit that I didn't ask too many questions. As I began trying to Google answers (and coming up with none, I might add) a friend brought dinner to us. She is a newer friend to us, but she sat down and started talking to me. She asked me how I was and something she said made me think to ask her profession. She told me she is a doctor! She practiced family medicine but did alot of her residency in OB care. So I shared with her my situation and asked for her insight. She was able to give me peace & understanding.. a 2nd opinion, if you will. She was a complete God-send to me at that moment when I needed peace!
After dinner, Andy went and got the mail. He brought me a letter addressed to either one of us. He let me open it. It had no name listed on it.. in fact the return address was our address. I opened the card and it said, "I hope this can help out your family a little bit" or something to that affect. No name & no signature. Then, I looked down at what had fallen out of the card & I literally began to weep...
You see, my doctor told me I had to cancel my Pampered Chef shows. I had to give one of them away and the others were turned into catalog parties. It's hard to get new parties off of catalog parties though! My business is suffering right now, big time. What I make in a paycheck covers our van payment and some other bills we pay each month. We were running low on funds BIG time. Unsure of how many of these bills would be paid... I clung to the fact that I knew God, my Redeemer, would rescue us & provide for us. As I looked at the check.. it's nearly the exact amount of what I would make in a month if I were doing my Pampered Chef business!! God had provided for us in a BIG way!!! I could do nothing more than weep with gratitude.
Several nights ago, while praying for God's hand to be upon us & help us.. He spoke to me to read the book of Habakkuk. This isn't necessarily a book I would sit down to intentionally read. It's a small book, and just not one you think of immediately when going to read the Bible. However, I heard Him clear as day tell me to read it. It was about midnight, so I pulled it up on my phone. And here are some verses that popped out at me!
Habakkuk 1:5 "Look around at the nations; look & be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."
2:4 "Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked, but the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God."
3:2 "I have heard all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works. In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by."
3:17-19 "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights."
How faithful & how good is our God!!!! He is surely to be praised for His faithfulness & His gracious hands upon us during this time!
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