He has taken on so much since I was put on bedrest 8 weeks ago. He is doing the shopping, taking care of our home & our children, cooking when meals aren't provided for us, and taking me to all my Dr's appointments. I am SO thankful for this wonderful man that God has given me!!
When I was growing up, my dad was alot of fun! Not big on discipline, but very attentive to our needs as young children. He took us to the pool almost daily in the Summertime, he took us to music lessons, we went on "Daddy Dates" where we would go to the bowling alley, batting cages, or the movie theatre. These almost always resorted in going to Sonic for cheesticks or Weigel's for Icee's too! Those days were fun!!!
After some marital problems, our parents divorced the Summer we turned 12. It was a very difficult time for us. Even though parents say you don't have to choose sides.. from the moment our dad moved out of our family home.. we would forever be choosing sides. Even now, at 28 years old.. we have to choose sides.
Fast forward five years...I went through a very difficult time when I turned 17. My mom had just divorced again from an abusive husband. My dad was in the process of another divorce with a woman I dearly loved and thought of as another Mom. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I was dealing with way too much bullying at school which started with rumors & giggles from my twin sister. I felt cast aside.. and all alone. In fact, I planned to graduate high school early.. desperate to enter the "adult world" and escape the heartaches of childhood I was experiencing.
It was at 17 that my dad threatened to disown me as his daughter which he stated would also mean removing me from his Will. Everything I did that he didn't "approve of" he would say, "And that's why your boyfriend broke up with you.." and other hurtful things such as this. I was quickly becoming bitter towards my father. Feeling so desperately alone and in a place of suicide. I (fortunately) couldn't bring myself to cause bodily harm. However, as I traveled a 2 lane road & 45 minute commute every day to school or work which was a major route for 18 wheeler trucks.. I would beg & plead with God. I would pray that one would lose control and hit my car allowing me to die. Every truck I passed the entire 45 minutes. With each one that safely passed I would break further into tears and ask God, "Why?" Why couldn't he just let me die?
I was almost 18 when I met Andy. In fact, our second date was for my 18th birthday. He was so quiet and had a peace about him. He was very comforting and listened to my heartaches. He held me tight as I cried more than once on his shoulder. He would pray with me and love me unconditionally.. in a way that was very foreign to me at the age of 17.. almost 18. It didn't take me long to feel as if this man was the one I would marry. Andy proposed to me 2 months later and we married 8 months after that. We just celebrated our 10th Anniversary! Has it always been easy? Absolutely not! There have been 2-3 times we could have easily called it quits! Have we grown up together? Most certainly! I was 18 & he was 21 when we married. We have truly grown together.. as people and in the Lord! Do I feel as if Andy rescued me out of my family situation? Absolutely, positively, without a doubt!! He showed me agape love.. when nobody else could!
Now, more than 10 years later.. my dad and I have reconciled. He isn't the first person I call when I have good or bad news. However, I do call him 1-2 times a week. I've had to forgive him in more ways than one.. and even ask his forgiveness for being so bitter towards him. I've learned that just as a non-prosthetic amputee cannot run a marathon... my dad cannot always be the dad I wish he was.
It's been a long road, but I can accept where God has brought me from and know that even though my dad isn't maybe what I wish I had in a father.. I have a Heavenly Father who LOVES & ADORES me! He considers me to be a masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." I can rejoice, because my Father in Heaven also gave me a wonderful husband who dearly loves our children and I get to celebrate Andy and my Heavenly Father on Father's Day!
Psalm 103:13 "The Lord is like a Father to His children; tender & compassionate to all who fear Him."
