What the Lord is Doing!

Here I sit at 29 weeks pregnant. I fight loneliness from being so isolated, but many friends text/call/email me throughout the day and that is definitely helpful. I look around at the "stuff" that needs to be put away, or the dishes undone in the sink, or the dust bunnies gathering in the corners and it makes me cringe.. just a little. I'm not an overtly neat person, but I do like order. I also hate dirty floors! But the Lord is teaching me to let those things go. For this unborn life inside me.. is of much more importance than dust bunnies!

At my appointment yesterday I was told I am not doing enough bed resting. My body has started cramping because of it now too.. in addition to the Braxton-Hicks that plague me the moment I stand up until the moment I return to sitting. My doctor is concerned that my uterus is being way too overworked for only 29 weeks pregnant. Thankfully, I am not dilating.. only the softening of my cervix is still apparent. She gave me medication to calm my uterus, told me more bedrest, and to stay hydrated. Above all.. she said I am to do absolutely nothing! I was warned that if my uterus hasn't calmed down by Thursday that I'm looking at Home Health having to come in for around the clock monitoring & the next step is hospitalization. I left her office in tears.

My children, being 6 & 4, are helpful but still need their Momma. They still want to eat breakfast & lunch or for me to get that coloring book that's put away on the top shelf that they can't reach. They still run out of toilet paper in the bathroom or want to be tucked in at naptime. It seems impossible to do absolutely nothing when you're already a Mom. I sent our prayer requests to friends & church family. Calls/Text/Emails began pouring in.. asking what they can do? Can they come make lunch for my kids? Can they pre-make lunches for them? Can they come & take them to the park or to the zoo for a day so I can rest?!

Andy came home from work with alot of questions I couldn't answer. He had talked with people he works with and they didn't understand my situation either. I told some friends who also had questions that I felt like I couldn't answer. Truth is.. I felt so overwhelmed at the office visit that I didn't ask too many questions. As I began trying to Google answers (and coming up with none, I might add) a friend brought dinner to us. She is a newer friend to us, but she sat down and started talking to me. She asked me how I was and something she said made me think to ask her profession. She told me she is a doctor! She practiced family medicine but did alot of her residency in OB care. So I shared with her my situation and asked for her insight. She was able to give me peace & understanding.. a 2nd opinion, if you will. She was a complete God-send to me at that moment when I needed peace!

After dinner, Andy went and got the mail. He brought me a letter addressed to either one of us. He let me open it. It had no name listed on it.. in fact the return address was our address. I opened the card and it said, "I hope this can help out your family a little bit" or something to that affect. No name & no signature. Then, I looked down at what had fallen out of the card & I literally began to weep...

You see, my doctor told me I had to cancel my Pampered Chef shows. I had to give one of them away and the others were turned into catalog parties. It's hard to get new parties off of catalog parties though! My business is suffering right now, big time. What I make in a paycheck covers our van payment and some other bills we pay each month. We were running low on funds BIG time. Unsure of how many of these bills would be paid... I clung to the fact that I knew God, my Redeemer, would rescue us & provide for us. As I looked at the check.. it's nearly the exact amount of what I would make in a month if I were doing my Pampered Chef business!! God had provided for us in a BIG way!!! I could do nothing more than weep with gratitude.

Several nights ago, while praying for God's hand to be upon us & help us.. He spoke to me to read the book of Habakkuk. This isn't necessarily a book I would sit down to intentionally read. It's a small book, and just not one you think of immediately when going to read the Bible. However, I heard Him clear as day tell me to read it. It was about midnight, so I pulled it up on my phone. And here are some verses that popped out at me!

Habakkuk 1:5 "Look around at the nations; look & be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."

2:4 "Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked, but the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God."

3:2 "I have heard all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works. In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by."

3:17-19 "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights."

How faithful & how good is our God!!!! He is surely to be praised for His faithfulness & His gracious hands upon us during this time!

Bedrest Update!

On Thursday, I got the test results for my preterm labor fetal-fibronectin test. The nurse called me and said it's positive. This isn't the kind of result you want with this type of test. It means, preterm labor is imminent. She tells me it can be as soon as 2 weeks or later. I am told that I am on strict bedrest and I must cancel my Pampered Chef Show that is scheduled (that night!) I have been a little concerned (with my Braxton-Hicks & pain levels) how I would make it through this show that was also 45 minutes away, but I was excited about this party.. because I had coached my host well & she was excited for a great party!! Those are my favorite ones to do!! Nonetheless, I found a replacement and I stayed home. The nurse wanted me back in the office the next day.

Friday afternoon, Andy accompanied me as I went through another cervical exam, ultrasound, and fetal non-stress test. The exam showed that I am still not dilated, but my cervix is very soft (which we knew!) and the ultrasound showed that I am not in immediate danger as my cervix hasn't shortened. The doctor tells me, "We've caught this early! Which is a good thing! We must be proactive!!" She explains that I will be in the office for testing & monitoring twice a week now. I will be on bedrest. I can go on non-stressful outings for short periods of time & can make my children's lunches, but absolutely no cooking and no cleaning. I am to rest, hydrate, rest, hydrate, and so forth. 

At first glance, this all may sound wonderful, right? You're told by the doctor you can't do anything but sit & sleep? How wonderful! I must tell you though.. I am a social person! I get such a buzz from being with friends and socializing with them!! Being on bedrest is kind of lonely for me.. already.. 6 days in! It's also hard for me to look around our home and see things that need to be done or put away, etc and not be able to do anything about it. Thankfully, Lydia is 6 & Elijah is 4. They are pretty self-sufficient, but they are also having to learn I cannot do for them as I was doing before. This is a learning curve for all of us! I am definitely learning to give up control!

The other thing I'm learning is to ask & receive!! Since I was young I have been the type of person that if something needs to be done, then I'll do it! I grew up where money wasn't prevalent and at 14 my sister and I started our own babysitting business just to have money for our lunches at school. Our parents were newly divorced and we didn't have alot of luxury in our teenage years. We worked!! It's hard for me to ask for help.. It's hard for me to receive help! But God is already teaching me, mostly because I don't have a choice, that help is needed and to allow others to bless me with their help for my family and me. Truthfully, the blessings have been overwhelming & I am so very very grateful for all they are doing for us!!

So, I suppose my blogging will become about my journey through bedrest now. I have 8-10 weeks on bedrest at this point. At 28 weeks now, my doctor hopes to get me past 34 weeks and to atleast 36! She is really hoping for 38! It will be interesting to see what the Lord teaches me during this time! 

My full time job used to be Mom: Homeschool Teacher, Cook, & Maid and Pampered Chef Consultant! These roles are changing for a short time and my new job is... growing a baby! 

27 Wks Pregnant and a bit Concerned..

I am 27 weeks & 3 days today!

In my last 2 pregnancies I really enjoyed being pregnant. There are quite a few aches & pains that accompany pregnancy.. but that aside.. I loved it! I love feeling the baby move & grow! Despite stretch marks and my lumps & bumps.. I love the way my body looks! Maybe I should more specifically say.. I love the way my body looks in clothes, ha! I love that you can eat and not have to worry about the feeling you get when you "wish you could unbutton your pants, but how inappropriate is that?!" You have on maternity/stretch pants.. you're almost always getting to wear COMFY clothes!! I love pregnancy!!

I will be completely honest though and say.. this pregnancy has been hard for me. Really hard. I don't want to complain too much or whine, because I have friends that I know who suffer with infertility & miscarriages and I know their hearts are shattered by such tragedy. I know they would take my place in 2 seconds and endure the hardships of pregnancy like a badge of honor. So, please, hear me when I say that I love being pregnant with my little Josiah.. even though it hasn't been easy this time around.

For the last couple of weeks I've had many Braxton-Hicks. They start out just feeling kind of weird, but after so many.. they begin to hurt. When I stand, they come on alot more frequent and the evenings are the worst in terms of this for me. I'm also dealing with alot of ligament pain. The inside of my leg up through the right side of my belly feel like it's on fire much of the time when I move. The ligament pain is a dear old friend, but I will say.. she came back with a vengeance this time around much worse than my previous pregnancies. The Braxton-Hicks.. this often, this painful.. it's all new to me. So I tell my Doctor of this news today.

She is concerned about actual contractions & does a pelvic exam. She tells me I am not dilated (praise the Lord) but my cervix is much more softened than it is supposed to be and that is cause for concern. She is doing a test to check for the possibility of preterm labor and I get those results tomorrow. In the meantime, I am told to rest and I may have to look at lowering my activity level. I'll tell ya.. aside from doing my cooking shows.. I feel pretty worthless in terms of activity as it is. I do minimal house cleaning and alot of couch warming!!

However, this does mean that if I am to lower my activity level that it will cut down or out my ability to do my cooking shows. If I may be honest..With the pain I experience.. this comes as a bit of a relief.  However, as I look out the window and see my van that I so dearly love & am grateful for.. the inability to do my cooking shows concerns me, because it is with my PC income that the van payment is paid!

I do not want to overdo it so much that I cause myself to go into labor and put Josiah in harms way, so I will do what I am told to the best of my ability if it comes down to bedrest. I know that God is faithful & He will provide for our family financially, physically, & emotionally!! It is hard being in this phase of not knowing and being concerned though. However, I serve a God who does know.. EVERYTHING!! He will provide & care for Josiah & me and the needs of our family!!

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways look to Him and He will direct your paths."  He is FAITHFUL!!

~I look forward to when I can look back at this post and see exactly what God did to care for our needs during this time!! It will be a joy!!~

Dogwood Arts Festival Fun 2013!

Last weekend we went to the Dogwood Arts Festival! We had such a fun time with my Mom! First we went to lunch and then walked around the Festival. They had alot there for the kids: Face Painting, Sock Puppets, Sidewalk Chalk Art, & Coloring Activities. Lydia & Elijah enjoyed looking at the art and the performers. Most of all, they loved all of the dogs on Market Square that they got to stop & pet!! We stopped and ended our fun at Rita's Italian Ice! They enjoyed that too!!

 Here are some pictures of our fun together!!!